Purgatory

“Pretend I’m strong enough?
But it burns… it burns deep inside and it’s seeping into my soul!”

I no longer know my right from my left, as all my colors burn to ashes.
My day is connected to my night, and winter never seems to end. Even the sunny days seem so dark and dull without the presence of your aura.

I’m longing to be near you, it’s becoming a rope wrapped around my neck, suffocating me; am I sad, angry, defeated, or what? A devil invades my peace and tears my soul in my chest… I feel like I’m drowning to the point of suffocation in neverending darkness; sand dunes move from underneath my feet, swallowing me whole…

Ringing in my ears, blurriness in my eyes, and no sensation in my limbs… My body is swaying between nightclubs, drunk and intoxicated on the sidewalks of memories and the hope of running into you. I miss you…

I miss your eyes, and I miss everything about you; nostalgia is killing my days. I can’t focus on anything else but your image. I go into a slumber of dreams filled with your eyes and touches of your skin as your body envelops me in your heart. It’s the only place I want to be.
I want to cry. I need to cry! I need to scream as my tears petrify behind my eyelids in a dam of grief. But with a lump in my throat, I can tell you, that separation won’t kill me and it won’t kill us. This separation is my purgatory as I wait for the mercy to escape.

Stay with me.